Go to the gym—your mental health is important. Feel tired. Drink a small, black coffee. Make an humungous big-farm steroid egg. Wonder if it would really be that hard to buy free-range eggs. Look up free range eggs and learn they come from chickens in quail-sized cages. Give up on the egg thing. Eat the egg. 

Message someone you haven’t seen in a long time. Regret it. Ask yourself if it’s weird to reach out after so long. Decide it is. 

Work for 11 hours. Feel like you haven’t done enough. Think about cinching your habits. Get a thankful message from the estranged person you messaged, talking about how nice it is to get a message from someone, that it made them feel better. They also mention that personal time has been helpful for them lately, that they feel like, the older you get, the harder you have to consciously fight for some minutes for yourself. Give up on habit cinching. You do enough.

Take Advil; you’re sore now, and you probably won’t be able to sleep if you don’t. 

Neurotically wonder about liver cirrhosis. What amount of daily drinking and Advil will fuck you up? Scroll on WebMD. Remember that WebMD is basically a giant pharma marketing engine. Close WebMD with a stiff finger. Take another Advil.

Practice subdivisions with a metronome. You haven’t been playing much lately and your hands are getting slow and clunky. Remember that there are people listening now, and you have to keep it all up. They pay to support you. 

Wonder how you’re going to pull off the other two music videos for launch. One of them, the one for Bolo Tie, is basically a single-shot performance of you dancing badly on purpose. Stress about it. Contemplate the line between a bad dance and a bad music video. Wish you had a budget.

Take a hot shower. Breathe the steam in. Remember that you ignored your grandma’s call. Also, your stepmom sent you a text saying “Thinking about you” days ago. You wanted to take a picture of something that reminded you of her before texting back, but you’ve been working. 

Have you been selfish?

Things are going by so quickly. Are you spending enough of your time on the people that matter to you? When’s the last time you’ve seen your dad? But, also, does everyone not matter to you? Mentally stick your head in the sand like an ostrich. 

There’s a screeching owl on top of your mobile home. You can hear it through a vent. Take it as an omen. Do a weird, little mental dance, wiping your brain of the notion that the owl screech is, in fact, and omen. Replace its significance in your mind with a cheer, or a battle cry. Feel amped for tomorrow.

Roll around in your bed all night.

Wake up, fill your teacup, and record a song for the Hideout in your back yard. Try something new. A David Bazan song about being a good person. 

Casey (& the boys)

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Angela Lawrence
1 year ago

I so love how much your train of thought is like being inside my own head. 💛🌻☠

Laura Sibley
1 year ago

I haven’t yet watched this, I’ve just read this and I can only speak for myself but, I’m paying to support you all, not hinder. So… I hope that we’re not piling on more pressure.

Do what you need, when you need. If that means you can’t produce material I’ll still be supporting and I’m sure other Rugrats will be too.

Just happy enough to have found you all and that’s good enough. You’re all good enough.

Adam Tarzano
1 year ago

So very relatable!

Adam Tarzano
1 year ago

Sounds great brother. Love it.

1 year ago

I have been waiting for this one. And Casey, I love you so very very much!

1 year ago

I spend more hours teaching kids in a special needs school than I spend with my own kids. I’m all day practicing patience and by the time I come home I have exactly zero left to give to my family. I’m trying to be decent and it is, in fact, hard to be.

Sara Contreras
1 year ago

Your brain is something special. All over the place. Mine too. That’s what allows great art to be made. What allows you to connect with all of us rats so well. I am so grateful for you guys!
Make sure you’re all taking care of yourselves so you can keep giving us food for our earholes! TWD 🌻💛☠️

1 year ago

What Angela said. Get out of my brain, Casey. Thank you.

Also… remember… whatever you and the dudes create and release know that it will be appreciated and loved. 101% You’re doing great. 💀💛🌻

1 year ago

This was oddly comforting 🥺😂 I’m glad someone else’s brain works the same as mine 🧠😶‍🌫️

1 year ago

Some of this his WAY too close to home, especially the “work 11 hours; feel like you didn’t do enough.”

Absolutely amazing cover, and reminder to get out of our own heads sometimes!

1 year ago


1 year ago

I love that you wrote your thoughts! I think like that more often than I even realize, I believe.
Thanks so much for sharing with us ❤️

1 year ago

We’re here with and for you Casey, and the boys. We’re your RAT FAMILY 🐀❤️ TWD

1 year ago

Oohhh… I love your cover. Really great job Casey ❤️

Mandi "Monster"
1 year ago

I needed this. I’ve been struggling so bad. I’m finding it difficult to do everything and just go on. It feels so pointless. I feel pointless. I’m winging it the best that I can, but I honestly just want to disappear.

1 year ago

Time IS going by too fast…..the daily grind is hard. The Advil really hits home for me, lol. I often wonder how long I can take it every morning with black coffee before it eats my insides…..I lay off when my ears start ringing, (true story.) Love all you guys and rats. 🙂

1 year ago

Casey, tattoo a hermit crab coming out of its shell.

1 year ago

You writing about messaging a friend you haven’t talked to in a while prompted me to do the same. Glad to read that it turned out well for you. I hope the same happens for me.

Christa Evans
1 year ago

You just wrote down the kind of shit that goes through my head. 🤣 You forgot to write the numerous times I tell myself to shut up or quit thinking about that shit. 🤣 Awesome cover though! I’ll be getting my youngest son an acoustic guitar for Christmas this year. He already plays bass but this kid is a prodigy so I’ll wind up buying him drums too. That makes this music-loving mom extremely happy! He listened to your free CD with me and dug it as much as I did. Keep on keeping on guys! 😁

Emily Hadley
1 year ago

I absolutely love this song!!!!! Casey, you have an amazing voice!!!!
TWD 💛🌻☠️🐀🥕🌵🌭

1 year ago

This post hits hard!!! Wow. I often feel like Im not myself. Im putting too much energy on work and keeping my space clean and tidy. I often feel like my hobbies were a thing of the past. I feel like im neglecting the little bit of family I feel like I have. I often wonder when Ill see my old relatives for the last time.
I sit in bed and hate myself because keeping my eyes open in the morning is a lot harder than its made up to be.

Thanks Casey (and the boys). Thank you