Go to the gym—your mental health is important. Feel tired. Drink a small, black coffee. Make an humungous big-farm steroid egg. Wonder if it would really be that hard to buy free-range eggs. Look up free range eggs and learn they come from chickens in quail-sized cages. Give up on the egg thing. Eat the egg.
Message someone you haven’t seen in a long time. Regret it. Ask yourself if it’s weird to reach out after so long. Decide it is.
Work for 11 hours. Feel like you haven’t done enough. Think about cinching your habits. Get a thankful message from the estranged person you messaged, talking about how nice it is to get a message from someone, that it made them feel better. They also mention that personal time has been helpful for them lately, that they feel like, the older you get, the harder you have to consciously fight for some minutes for yourself. Give up on habit cinching. You do enough.
Take Advil; you’re sore now, and you probably won’t be able to sleep if you don’t.
Neurotically wonder about liver cirrhosis. What amount of daily drinking and Advil will fuck you up? Scroll on WebMD. Remember that WebMD is basically a giant pharma marketing engine. Close WebMD with a stiff finger. Take another Advil.
Practice subdivisions with a metronome. You haven’t been playing much lately and your hands are getting slow and clunky. Remember that there are people listening now, and you have to keep it all up. They pay to support you.
Wonder how you’re going to pull off the other two music videos for launch. One of them, the one for Bolo Tie, is basically a single-shot performance of you dancing badly on purpose. Stress about it. Contemplate the line between a bad dance and a bad music video. Wish you had a budget.
Take a hot shower. Breathe the steam in. Remember that you ignored your grandma’s call. Also, your stepmom sent you a text saying “Thinking about you” days ago. You wanted to take a picture of something that reminded you of her before texting back, but you’ve been working.
Have you been selfish?
Things are going by so quickly. Are you spending enough of your time on the people that matter to you? When’s the last time you’ve seen your dad? But, also, does everyone not matter to you? Mentally stick your head in the sand like an ostrich.
There’s a screeching owl on top of your mobile home. You can hear it through a vent. Take it as an omen. Do a weird, little mental dance, wiping your brain of the notion that the owl screech is, in fact, and omen. Replace its significance in your mind with a cheer, or a battle cry. Feel amped for tomorrow.
Roll around in your bed all night.
Wake up, fill your teacup, and record a song for the Hideout in your back yard. Try something new. A David Bazan song about being a good person.