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JUST ONE OF THOSE SONGS THAT JUMPED IN MY BONES AND STAYED

"IF YOU WON'T WAKE UP, I DON'T WANT TO WAKE UP..."

People resonate with songs for all types of reasons. It can be the lyrics, the rhythm, the band’s culture, the singer’s hair, the guitarist’s HUGE muscles . . . sometimes though, a tune can just remind you of a time and a place and a feeling. 

 

This is one of those tunes for me. 

 

I used to cover it when I was in high school playing little crappy gigs around San Francisco cafes and hole-in-the-wall restaurants with my buddies. More than once it’s made me cry in front of an audience for no reason other than feeling it so hard. Kinda embarrassing looking back. 

 

Well, bite me, I’m a cry baby. 😂

 

It’s weird, it’s just one of those songs that jumped into my bones and didn’t leave my headphones for a few days even when the rest of the band’s discography didn’t make it to heavy rotation. I even saw From Indian Lakes up in Sonoma, California around 2011. It was a fine show, but the funny thing is, I really just like that one song and furthermore, it’s really just that last line that gets me, even though I’m pretty sure I’m missing the actual intent.

 

“If you won’t wake up, I don’t want to wake up.”

 

🚨OKAY…HERE COMES MY REGULARLY SCHEDULED SHORT SAPPY RANT 🚨

 

For the longest time, I had no intention of starting a career or bettering my physical or mental health, all because I felt like time and space should stop out of respect for my family tragedies. I started to experience how selfish grief can feel sometimes and how easy it is to beat yourself up for taking the time you need. I would get so upset trying to balance letting myself feel and not falling into a hole. 

 

In a strange way, that lyric serves as an automatic reminder for me that everybody goes through the same deal in some capacity or another. I needed somebody to give me permission to complain and hearing someone yell about it was so comforting.

 

My personal takeaway (regardless of actual meaning) was that trying to turn pain into motivation is a big part in surviving and everybody has to do it. That was huge for me in my teenage years. Sometimes, I think I was just trying to pull motivation out of anything and everything, but I’m glad I did.

 

Aside from making me cry like I just took a metal scooter to the shin, “Your Son” brings me back to a different time. I was discovering my musical self and exploring my hometown by myself. It reminds me of coming into my own. Learning how to navigate my BIG feelings and finding “my people.”

 

I hope that our tunes will hold an equally special place in some poor young souls’ heads one day and remind them they’re not alone. 

 

That’s it for now. Please, anybody reading this, drop a tune that shifted your perspective in the comments. I’d love to hear them.

TWD,
Sean (& the boys) 💛🌻☠️

22 Comments
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Nikki
1 month ago

Shit. I almost cried. It’s true, we all try to turn pain into motivation and survive. Thanks for this, my best pal 💛🫂
I’ll return later gotta go back into work…

Sean
1 month ago
Reply to  Nikki

Hi fwend! Hope ur good. Have a good rest of the work day!

Bri
1 month ago

I’m one of those poor “young” souls where yalls music help them. Still helps me. Helps me everyday. Thank you sharing!

PS I love the shirt.

Sean
1 month ago
Reply to  Bri

Awww. Thanks bri. That makes me so happy. We got to see mewithoutyou on their farewell tour and we all got shirts. Had to have the hippie one.

Austin
1 month ago

Beautiful sir

Sean
1 month ago
Reply to  Austin

How ya doin, dude?

Laura
1 month ago

Thank you for sharing this, Sean. 💙 Got me in the feelies.

I think there’s a few that gave me this same sense of connection and not being alone but lately, ‘Blackbird’ (Alter Bridge) is at the top of this list. 💛🌻☠️

Sean
1 month ago
Reply to  Laura

Hey you! I haven’t give them a chance yet…should I start with Blackbird?

Laura Sibley
1 month ago
Reply to  Sean

Yeah, it’s haunting but beautiful. They’ve done some incredible songs. 💛

Valerie Cox
1 month ago

😭❤ I don’t have time to say everything I want to cuz I’m at work but…I’ll be back to let you know how awesome this is!!

Sean
1 month ago
Reply to  Valerie Cox

❤️❤️❤️

Vicki Hutchison
1 month ago

Love it! Miss you guys!

Sean
1 month ago

I miss you Vic! We’ll have to all meet up soon. ❤️

Heather Gard-Edwards
1 month ago

Cover Me by Depeche Mode. Something about it just hit me in the sublime feels. Kind of like how your music hits me in the feels now. It’s my happy place on my long drive home after work, after having to move back to my home town AGAIN against my will, but with my job still an hour away. So much suck. Don’t know what I’d do without the ability to get lost in the music and know I’m not alone.

Beth
1 month ago

First, I have been going through a shit time and wasn’t going to do social, but you caught my attention for this. I am glad to pop in here to see it.
Second, the first song that ever shifted perspective for me was “Eleanor Rigby” by the Beatles. I was 9. Later John Denver’s “Uncle Matthew” did. I was 15. There are many others, but those stand out.
Third, listening to you sing that cover had me in tears. Thank you for that outlet.
Pain has such an odd way of surfacing and demanding attention.

Angela Lawrence
1 month ago

Sean,

😭😭😭 I wrote a whole long response to this… and I hit the wrong thing on my phone and lost it. Lol. Oh well… I guess that sentiment was not meant to be shared.
Just know, I loved this… and you got me thinking about some deep and nostalgic shit I was overdue to be reminiscing about.

💛🌻☠

Jess
1 month ago

Thanks for sharing your story & your cover of the song! It was beautiful! 🤗 Personally, I have so many musical memories and songs but an entire album that really shook me when I first heard it is John Frusciante’s Niandra LaDes and Usually Just a T-Shirt. Recorded by himself in the 90’s after he quit the Chili Peppers the first time while in a heroin and cocaine decline. It sent me on a wildly creative burst/artistic crisis overload/emotional rollercoaster…. Def not an album for everyone but for me I think it’s brilliantly obscure but in some weird way I get it which made it even more wild. Massively impacted who I am as an artist 🤯

Jess 🙂

Madelon
1 month ago

Its been a while since ive listened to it, but one of m to long time favorite bands, Blue October, has one song that I relate to. As time goes on, the strength of a song shifts, but this one is always relatable. Called, “Picking up the Pieces”. For me, its about how scattered I am, how scattered life can be. Its about how being your best self isn’t as easy as (I’d), wish it’d be. It taught me that I wasn’t alone with my feelings. When I first heard it 10 years ago, I felt like I was picking up my own pieces too. Many years later, I feel like Im still picking up pieces, but they’re different now. Different pieces, different day.

Mandi "Monster"
1 month ago

I love how open and honest you guys all are about thoughts and feelings… the stuff that so many people are so uncomfortable talking about. I truly believe that if we all were more open about the messiness of our insides, we’d all feel a bit less self-conscious about our own messy insides. I also think it would bring about a stronger sense of community at a broader range. Anyway, all that to say that I just appreciate how open you all are and I’m honored to be part of the audience.

Lucy
1 month ago

I was doing ok until you sang the last line so gently and beautifully I burst into tears! Thank you for sharing this lovely song ❤️

The song that spoke to me powerfully when I was younger was Dinner at Eight by Rufus Wainwright – it summed up the complicated relationship I had with my dad, it still has the same effect on me every time I hear it…

Jill
1 month ago

I’m so glad I’m not the only cry baby… Love you Sean ❤️

Christa
1 month ago

Dang man. Almost made me cry. That was beautiful. 🥲 I have too many songs to list that have the same affect on me but the first one I can think of is Guess I’m Doing Fine by Beck. I first heard it after the death of a good friend and now I will forever associate it with her. And since we’re talking about it, You Can Always Kill Yourself Tomorrow by Dreams We’ve Had JUST HAD TO be the first song in my playlist when I put my headphones on directly after my best friend took her life last summer. But life has pain, and no, time doesn’t heal it, you just learn to live with it. Keep making music to make us all feel life! 💙

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