Dom here. I’m sure you’ve all probably seen the email Casey sent out with this new song, but if you haven’t, I figured I’d give some of my own perspective on it before passing the torch over to the story-lord.
I think in some way, we all battle with internal struggles we never really talk about with others. We bundle it up, carry it with us everywhere and lay in bed at night staring at the ceiling unable to sleep because it wont go away.
I think my biggest issue is my ego. I battle with this demon everyday.
And it has affected some of my relationships with friends and partners. I’ve sought out therapy, I’ve looked myself in the mirror, along with 20,000 car rides alone in silence asking myself in my head:
“Is it me? Am I really the problem? I’ve done so much for so many without ever asking for anything in return. How could I still be so self centered? Do I really put myself that high on a pedestal?”
And then I think about all the amazing people in my life who’ve helped me along the way to understand that some minds cannot be changed and not everyone is meant to be in your life for all the right reasons. I’ve been fighting tooth and claw to have this perfect “rap sheet” of positive experiences with everyone I encounter…or at least the idea that everyone has to like me. I mean why wouldn’t they, right??
Recently I’ve been doing my diligence to let go of that lofty goal and just focus on the things I can control. Friends will come and go and the real one’s will see you for your true genuine self. The temporary friends and lovers will fall away at some point, they’ll likely say things about you to others, but pay no mind…because it will eat you up inside. And that is a completely useless problem to have.
anyway… I’m not very good at this sort of thing, so let me hand this over to Casey if you haven’t already had the chance to read his perspective on this:
so it was like this: eleven-year-old me stood on a two-story roof at zac brammel’s birthday party with a lattice of friend’s hands ready to catch me on the lawn.
“stop being a pussy!” matt barkley shouted from below (this is how kids talked).
i was terrified so i was bouncing up and down on my knees, hoping zac’s mom would happen to come out and “make” me come down.
but she didn’t.
instead, i jumped. . .
and as their fingers were all spreading apart, i realized something very important about the way the world works:
people can totally suck.
rug rats, i’ve been trudging through the mental mud lately, wrestling with something i hope i can tell you about at some point soon. . .
. . .but for the time being, i wanted to send you this song, which is kind of about being “strong,” whatever that means.
it’s so easy to clam, bury it, lock it up, and isolate from the people who matter most.
every one of us has a signed cast from zac brammel’s birthday party in an attic somewhere. . .
. . . but what we do with that memory, at least in my experience, matters more than the moment itself.
to my surprise, when i told the people in my life what was going on with me, their fingers latticed so hard, they could’ve caught an elephant.
anyways, give it a listen if you’d like.